I was on the platform waiting for the subway at Columbus Circle this AM, when I was suddenly surrounded by three cops. Since my only escape was to jump onto the tracks, I chose to stand there with a terrified look on my face.
"Are you okay, sir?" The apparent leader asked.
"Ummm, yeah, why?"
"One of the other passengers said they saw you talking to yourself."
"Ooooh, "I laughed, "I'm a comic. I was just working on a new bit."
Unimpressed, the leader asked in a way-too-serious manner, "Where do you perform, sir?"
"All over, Gotham, New York Comedy Club."
"Where is Gotham?" He asked in his deadpan way. One of the other cops was smirking, realizing (I think) that this was pretty funny, the other was staring at me like I killed the clerk at a convenience store.
"It's on, ummm, 23rd and 7th."
He stared at me for another second before saying, "Okay, have a good day, sir." With a nod of his head, he and his cohorts were gone.
I thought about volunteering a joke to prove my innocence, but then I worried what would happen if they didn't think I was funny... not only would I be sent to Bellevue, but my confidence as a comic would be shot.
Rock On,
Aitch
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11 comments:
How you can tell someone is not a New Yorker: If seeing someone talking to themself on a subway platform is scary and unusual.
They will probably call the National Guard the first time they see someone pee on a subway bench.
I love NY.
at least the cops kept calling you sir.
How did the person know you were talking to yourself and not singing aling with your iPod to Britney Spears, as you have been known to do that in the past (It's Harris Bitch!)
hey anonymous,
yeah, some peeps are a lil too serious about the "if you see something, say something" edict.
hey josh homer,
i think they stopped me cause i have black friends.
rock on,
aitch
I hope you put this in your act...
I have a line in my "Nuclear Guy" bit about practicing my act while walking around the plant... Someone from management saw me and I got sent for a piss test... They thought I was on drugs... 'Cuz I looked happy!!!
hey steve "the nuclear guy,"
i may try it out ...next time i'm in the subway.
yeah, when i told someone here at work the story, she said that when she started, and saw me pacing while talking to myself, she thought i was insane...of course, now she knows.
rock on,
aitch
I like how the cop asked you "Where is Gotham, sir?" I guess he expected to say "Quick, to the Batmobile, and I will show you."
wait a minute, when you say NWA do you mean Easy E, Ice Cube etc?
hey slava,
took nme a sec to realize what you were sayin'..but i got it.
hey josh homer,
ya
why?
rock on,
aitch
Maybe you should have said:
Cuz the boyz n tha hood are always hard
You come talkin that trash we'll pull your card
Knowin nothin in life but to be legit
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't sayin shit
it's just that you're not a blue comic, and I've never even heard you allude to something that was blue.
hey anonymous,
nex' time
hey josh homer,
it's sorta meant ironically. OBVIOUSLY, i'm not anti-police... unless I continue to see them profilic comics!
word
rock on,
aitch
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