Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A Thank You to You, My Fans...

I feel the need to take a moment to thank you, my ever loyal fans, for your support of my rapidly stagnating comedy career.

Without you, and by "you" I mean the people who've come to see me perform my so-called act onstage, there wouldn't be an "act."

For no club would let me get on their stage unless I brought a few of you, willing to part with your hard-earned money - well, except for some of you (I'm looking at YOU Kim) - for their cover charge and to partake in their overpriced alcoholic beverages and bar-quality (aka nasty-a**) food.

And now, I have even more reason to give thanks...for I have been invited to Gotham Comedy Club's Holiday Party this coming Sunday evening (I assume it's late due to their fine new establishment not being open till beginning of January, when by the way, 25 of you braved the cold to watch me tell oft-told tales into a small microphone on a small stage to small laughs. Thank you once again.)

Knowing Gotham, I am sure they will go all out, the repast full of delicacies including, but not limited to, champagne, caviar, large shrimp, lobster fra diablo and chocolates, which will no doubt be nestled in the bosom of large bosomed women.

In any event, while attending this bacchanalia, I promise that you will all be in my thoughts...for I promise to attempt to eat and drink enough to make up for all the money that you've spent in seeing me.

As an added bonus, I promise to write an e-mail, detailing this sure-to-be exquisite party in details such that you will feel like you were there...almost.

Thank you for your support,

Rock On,


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Three Shows in Five Days...and a Gum Fight!

It's Saturday Night. We're about to leave a restaurant on the Upper West Side, where we just had dinner. Since I was about to do a show downtown, I asked Bronwen if she had any gum. Here's a transcript of the conversation that transpired...

Bronwen: Yeah...Amanda brought this back from Europe.
Harris: Really? Cool...thanks. Awww, man, this takes like Robitussin!
Bronwen: It does not!
Harris: Have you tried it?
Bronwen: Yes! You're so ungrateful.
Harris: Wow.
Bronwen: Do you have to pooh-pooh everything?
Harris: Yes...can I have another piece?
Bronwen: Why do want another piece?
Harris: I don't think I can properly describe how bad this gum is to Rich (my brother). He needs to have a piece.
Bronwen: No! You can't.
Harris: Seriously, I've never tasted anything like this.
Bronwen: Have fun at your show.
Harris: What?!?

Anyway...we resolved our little difference (i think I owe her a TV or something) and off I went...

How'd the shows go you ask? Glad you asked...Read on for the semi-gory details...

Thursday Night at The Comedy Cellar

This was the Finals of that Laff-Off competition. The key here is that the winner is decided by audience applause at the end of the show when they drag us comics onstage.
Before the show began I asked a few of the comics how many audience members they had rooting for them. One said two, another said three, others said, five, seven. I had zero. Another guy had thirty...

Guess who won.

Saturday Night at New York Comedy Club for their "Latino Laughter" show

This was a five-minute spot I got for being picked as the best open mic'er a few weeks ago at one of their open mics. Quite frankly, I was slightly dreading this spot as I really don't think my humor resonates with the young, urban, ethnic crowd that this show attracts.

In fact, I joked at dinner Friday night with friends that I was gonna just get up on stage and start shouting, "Yo! Yo! Yo! Wussssuuup Neeewwwwww Yooooork?!? When I say Latino, you say Laughter!!! Latino!!! Latino!!! Latino!!!!" Yeeeahhhhh boooooyyyyzzzz!!!!"

So I get there in time for the first comic. He jumps on stage and goes, "Wuzzup Latinos!?!? Where my Puerto Ricans at?!? Where my Domincano's at?!?"

Anyway, I did my five minutes...some jokes did well...some went over like a lead balloon.

Monday Night at The Comic Strip

This was an audition to be passed by the club. They mixed in "real" comics with the auditioners. The show started at 8:30...I was the last of the auditioners to go on (The Auditioning Headliner!). I got on at about 11:00.

Though I didn't think that I was as nervous as usual, I must've been as I forgot my set halfway through. Thankfully, I had the wherewithal to think of a bit. though it wasn't a bit I was planning on doing (Howard Stern), it went over well enough and the owner didn't mention anything about that to me when we spoke after my set.

She did say that I had to segue better between bits (I didn't mention to her why I was talking about Howard Stern in between discussing a wine tasting with my girlfriend and buying a dog with her)...she also said I need better jokes for my opening and closing, which are crucial jokes. On the bright side, she mentioned that I seemed to get stronger as I went.

That opening joke thing is weird..Everytime I change my opening joke to something that has worked in the middle (wine, bro), it's bombed...and I gotta climb out of a hole.

Oh well...someday I'll find that perfect joke...someday.

Thanks to Dawn and friends for making it.

Rock On,