So I MC'ed a show last night at The World Famous New York Comedy Club. There's something about the club that brings out the worst in patrons, like here and here.
About a third the way through the show, prolly after her two-drink minimum was already satisfied, a woman from England decided to become part of the show. At first, she made an innocuous comment or two during my in-between comic banter, which is fine. But eventually, she became a problem, so much so, that I felt the need to announce that though anyone can talk while I'm up, that the comics had great prepared material and dont want audience participation.
Even after I walked over to her (and her husband) and explained that they're about to be removed from the club, she persisted.
"But in England, it's expected to talk back to the comics."
"You're not in England."
"Okay, I promise to be quiet."
She didn't keep her promise. In fact, she got worse, not letting comics finish jokes. I tried, this time from the stage to shut her up...
"Yo England, we beat you over 200 years ago... get over it. I know you're pissed that you're not a superpower anymore, but if it makes you feel better, in fifty years, we wont be either."
Got some laughs, but obviously not the greatest silencer. Another comic was far bolder, trying to get the crowd against her...
"By applause, who here wants Ms. England to keep talking?" Silence. "Who wants her to shut the fuck up?" Wild applause.
"Okay," she agreed, "I get the hint." Hint? That was closer to dropping an anvil on her head.
ANYWAY, she didn't get the hint. She continued to interrupt the show. It reached a boiling point, two hours in, when a comic, let's call him Alan Smithee, lost his cool, walked off stage - mid act, mind you - and confronted her. I had already taken the stage, and watched it unfold. I thought he might hit her husband (or her) but Alan just shouted his complaint to her and walked out.
There was an awkward silence, which I let linger for five seconds, and broke with, "Alan Smithee, everyone! Alan Smithee!"