Squirrel Man

Went to Texas BBQ for some take-out.

After I ordered and was standing to the side, this squirrelly looking guy walked in and asked the cashier, "I know a chicken sandwich is eight dollars and sixty six cents, but, can I have onions on it for a total of nine dollars?"
The cashier replied, "Sure."
"Can they be grilled?"
"I'm sorry bit we only have fried."
After thinking about it, Squirrel Man said, "Okay, I'll take it!" He paid and stood next to me.
"What are you getting?"
"Me?" I stuttered, really not wanting to get into a conversation with him, "I got a salmon burger."
"I didn't even know they had salmon." He ran to the cashier.
"Can I change my order?"
"No, it's already in."
Squirrel Man walked back to me.
"It was too late."
"I saw. Sorry."
"Ah, I'll get it next time."

When his take-out was ready (I guess chicken is faster to make than salmon), he opened his bag on the counter and asked for more pickles and tomatoes. The cashier shot me a look before getting them.
Upon reviewing it, Squirrel Man asked, "Can I have more pickles, please?"
"Okay." He shook his head in my direction, before retrieving them.
When he handed them over, he sarcastically asked, "Would you like more lettuce?"
"No, thank you," Squirrel Man answered, before leaving.
When he left, the cashier asked, "Can you believe that guy?"
I shook my head while smiling.

Ten seconds later, Squirrel Man walked back in.
"If it's not too late, I would like more lettuce."

harris