Monday, November 10, 2008

Pain (Definitely) Does Exist in This Dojo!

Finally, my bud and I have started. And by "start," I mean we took an introductory karate class.

It's two days later, and I'm still hurtin'. My back, my legs, my ego...

I was starving when I got there, so to make sure I had enough energy to make it through class, I got a slice of pizza, which I'm pretty sure is what all black belts eat before throwin' down.

There were about twenty people in the class( about seven of them women). They were all wearing gi's, the traditional garb...except for my bud and I. We were wearing sweatpants (and I wore my Mike Piazza numbered NY Mets t-shirt to psyche out my bud, an avid Yankee fan...though I have no idea why that would psyche him out).

I pictured the teacher asking me why I wanted to take karate.
"Well, see this guy over here (I'd point to my bud)? I wanna beat his ass in the octagon. Yeahhh! Get him a body bag!"
(Silence and staring)
"Just kiddin'..."
"Do you have any questions?"
"Yes...Does fear exist in the dojo?"
"That's from The Karate Kid...never mind."

ANYWAY, though I work out, my body wasn't prepared for this kind of work out. I think the instructor knew we may be a bit overwhelmed...

"By the way," he said, "the restroom is over there in case you need to vomit."

Half-way through the push-ups I started to slow down till I was down to performing knee push-ups. By the time we were running (and before any actual karate), I was sweating like Sarah Palin being asked to find Africa on a map.

But I hung in there (unlike my bud, who had to stop twice during the hour...I am so gonna kill him in the octagon!), even when I stubbed my toe during a hip toss (though I almost screeched in pain).

I mean, sure, the instructor did have to slow down the class several times to demonstrate (again and again) how to perform the "jab/cross/front kick" exercise for just me (btw - I never got the hang of that...I have the coordination of a newborn colt). And yes, one of the girls next to us did stop me to demonstrate how to throw a punch. And okay, my back and hammies have been killing for the the past two days (I have more appreciation for Rickey Henderson now), but I did it...and more importantly...

I'm goin' back for more.

Rock On,



kimberoo99 said...

karate? what are you already working on your "bucket list"?

Josh Homer said...

next class make a pair of nunchucks out of chop sticks and string. Pull them out then the sensei pairs you up with someone at a much higher skill level than you. Then blog about it.

PS - My old roommate did this (except for the blog part). The sensei asked the other student to step aside and he sparred with my old roomie. It was an asskicking he will never forget, and he was asked to leave the class FOREVER.

Harris said...

hey josh homer,

so you want me to be booted out of class? you're obviously worried about a more powerful Harris Bloom wrecking havoc all over the NY comedy scene.

Now if you've excuse me, I must increase my pain tolerence by holding my opened hand over a flame....Ouch! Okay, enough of that.

Rock On,


Anonymous said...

In college my friend's roommate, from Korea, bragged about how he was a fourth degree black belt and was so well-trained and skilled that he could sense danger, nobody could ever sneak up on him because he could feel bad vibrations coming at him, etc.

After a couple of minutes of this tirade I punched him in the face.

Obviously he didn't sense the danger.

-Shaun Eli

CSC (Calvin) said...

I commend you taking a karate class. I barely have the dexterity to use my remote channel, much less throw a punch.

If you do start a dojo, I'll be the first one to sign up!