Pre-Shredded Mozzarella Cheese

Josie and I had a couple of friends over for dinner last night.

You might be saying, "What's the big deal?"

But it is... I haven't had friends over to my place for dinner for at least ten years. One month livin' with Josie and that streak is over. Next thing ya know, I'll be in Bed, Bath and Beyond asking where the duvet section is.

ANYWAY, the next question should be, "OK Harris, I'll bite, why haven't you had anyone over for dinner in years?"

There are a few reasons -

• first of all, I dislike cooking - It's stupid - You buy stuff, prepare, cook for hours...all to be finished in twenty minutes (and no, I don't get a thrill out of the whole process)... AND, it's rarely as good as what you can get in a restaurant and costs about the same (partially cause you always have to buy one bottle of something that you'll never use again, until you make that dish).
• secondly, being the host means that I feel guilty if the evening isn't "fun." If we were to go to a restaurant, sure, I'm part of the expected entertainment, but I don't feel like it's my duty to make it fun.
• Thirdly, I have to clean my apartment. Okay, maybe that's a good thing.
• Fourth, I now have a wildcard - my dog. I have to keep an eye on him as he's not totally trained. Nothing sours a lovely dinner quicker than when someone notices a dog taking a crap on the rug during the cheese course.

Speaking of cheese, I wasn't off to a good start when Josie sent me to the store to buy "pre-shredded mozzarella cheese." To me, that means, "before it's shredded." Apparently, the rest of the universe sees it differently, as everyone I've told laughs when I tell them I came home with a block of cheese.

"You're a moron." Josie said, as I layed the hunk o' cheese on the table.

I must say though, we had a good time, nothing even outlandish to report. I did forget to give our guests the fancy mints I had bought (just as many fine restaurants give when you leave). In fact, we're having friends over again on Saturday. This time I'm not even going to keep a list of conversation topics nearby.

So assuming it goes well, my readers can send me their avails, and we'll get back to you when we can accomodate your party.

Rock On,

Aitch