Tuesday, April 14, 2009

New Respect For Temp Dude

I overheard Temp Dude on the phone today (though "overheard" makes it sound like I was trying to listen...in truth I have no choice, anyway...) with some veteran's association trying to find out something about his benefits. After talking for twenty minutes with some bureaucrat, he said, "Can I talk to your boss, you're useless."

Of course, after he got off the phone, he stalked off talking to himself.



Count Sneaky said...

I have not had this experience, but I understand it's quite common. It prompted me to write this :

"Hello!" You have reached Hell. Your call is very important to us and we will endevour to do our best to serve you.

If you are one of the damned press 1. You will be placed on Hold until some one who gives a damn answers.

If you wish to speak with a demon, press 2.

If you wish to speak with a fiend press 3.

If you wish to speak with a devil press

If you wish to speak with an archdevil, press 5.

If you wish to speak with your "ex", press 6.

If you wish to speak with Satan, leave your number and he will get back to you
when He f------- feels like it!

If you have a complaint, press 7 for good luck and someone and in our complaint department will get back to you as soon as he finishes sharpening
his pitchfork.

If you need directions to the nearest pit, press #

If you still have not reached your party
press * and you will be entertained by elevator music and readings of our
Mission Statement....click, click, click,
That was a selection called "Snooze" by the 150,000 and One Strings... Our Mission Statement. It is our resove to make your stay with us as miserable
as is demonically and fiendishly possible.
We will devote all resources,
spare no effort, leve no torment un- used and never, never let our fires burn low.
To this end we pledge YOUR ends and our sacred dishonor, infidelity and disloyalty forever.


Thank you for holding. I will repeat the menu for you again.

To talk to a demon, press 1.......

Click, click

Harris said...

you're really dedicated to your coomments

i think you took more time to write that than i did to write my last few posts!