"Excuse me, but I work for a modelling agency, and we've been searching high and low for balding, bespectacled, hairy-backed, small-headed models who are slightly pudgy in the midsection but have decent muscle tone otherwise."
I'm a comedian, a writer, and an accountant. Guess which one I'd like to quit.
Not only do I perform at comedy clubs but am experienced at helping to organize and perform at fundraisers and benefits, so if you would like to schedule one, and can use a comic to help, feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks!