"She Obviously Doesn't Know Me"

After my last show, my mom told me that Josie's a "sweet little girl."

This was after Josie and my mom had these conversations over the past couple of weeks -

mom: are you going to the dog park show?
josie: um, no i don't think so...
mom: why not? what kind of supporter are you?
josie: something partially inaudible but i think along the lines of "a half-assed one" (delivered of course in deadpan fashion then followed by a smirk)
mom:[blank stare]
josie: just kidding...

and

Mom was talking about her friend's cat who wouldn't leave her alone, Josie made the point that cats have a weird way of sensing cat-dislikers and following them around...

mom: so, do you think the cat was trying to get me to like him?
josie: [shrug]
mom: well, what was i gonna do, have s*x with him? do you think he wanted me to have sex with him?
josie: well, if that's what it takes...
mom: [blank stare]

Rock On,

Aitch