We got them a serving dish, purchased at Crate and Barrel, just 'round the time that Kentucky was busy stunning LSU in college football, but I digress....(stop rolling your eyes!)
They came in early so we all could walk through Food Emporium (a supermarket) together.
Huh? Why would the seven of you make the effort to walk through a Food Emporium?
You see, Josie's bro, Joel, works as an architect (or is it an engineer?) - and his firm recently remodeled that supermarket.
ANYWAY, the seven of us ambled though, checking out the walls, ceilings and display cases as if we were walking though The Sistine Chapel. The employees must've thought we were tourists that got lost.
Naturally, as we walked from aisle to aisle, I felt the need to make several comments - Actually, their father also made comments. Let's see if you can guess who made which comments...(keep in mind, their father speaks with an Italian accent) -
1 - You did good job...vedy nice.
2 - Are those bananas over there, or is that display case just happy to see me?
3 - This tile
4 - Since ya pretty much saved their business, ya think I can take a peach?
5 -
6 - Look...they give you the nutritional info for the popcorn, popped...and unpopped. Who the heck is eating unpopped popcorn?!? I mean, I'm lazy, but I'm not THAT lazy! Thank you...try the veal!!
While leaving, Josie and her niece were walking hand in hand. I couldn't help but notice that The Niece was walking in an exaggerated manner with her legs stiff. That's right, she was goose-stepping like a midget Luftwaffe officer! I woulda loved to see what would've happened had she asked Josie to join her in her Ode to The Third Reich.
On the way to the restaurant, we were stopped on a street corner due to an ambulance whizzing by, siren blaring. I thought that woulda been a great time to explain "death" to The Niece, but Josie disagreed. The look on her face suggested that she's worried about my parenting skillz. Whatever...
We ate at Cara Mia. Thought I'd ingratiate myself with The Fam by ordering Priest Stranglers. No, I'm not kidding. Never hard of it, but it's the name of a type of pasta. I chose those over the Rabbi Bludgeoners and the Minister Strike with a Lead Pipers.
The service was a bit slow and when dishes started piling up at one end of our table, her father started handing me dishes. Not realizing he wanted me to just put them on end of table (he didn't say anything), I just stared at him with a confused look while holding plates. In fact, when Josie spoke to her mom on phone, her mom asked why I looked "confused." She also mentioned that Joel wants to get a few drinks in me so they can find out the "real" me.
I'll have to take one of those pills that Batman (or was it Austin Powers) took to avoid feeling the effects of alcohol.
Rock On,
Aitch
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