Counting Down to Standing Up - Part 3

Remember when I tried to go on Blind Date and I was so nervous once the camera was turned on that I actually forgot my name? Well, for the last few daze, I can't seem to remember the first line of my act without looking at it in writing.

I'm also worried that since I'm practicing with a pencil instead of a microphone, I wonder if I can actually electrocute myself with my own sweat. Man, would that be an embarrassing way to go, or what?

Rehearsing the same lines over and over again into a pencil has proved exhausting. Seriously. After pacing around my desk at work, silently repeating my set all day, I rehearse in front of a live audience at home. Stewie, my dog, doesn't seem to get most of my jokes, but the ones he does like, he really likes. By 9 PM, I can barely keep my eyes open.

So what I'm tryin' to say here is, if you wanna be able to say, "You remember that time you actually vomited on stage?" - you really ought to come out on July 9th...since like Rocky once said - There aint gonna be a second show - (Okay, he said "rematch," but you get the idea).

Anyway, I called Jessica (again) the host, to confirm my slot and to ask her how will I know when my 7 minutes are up.

"At six minutes, you'll see a light flash," she said.
"Really? Will it be blinding?"
"Umm, no, I don't think so."
"What color will it be?"
"White."
"But won't I see white light anyway?"
"Yeah, but this will be flashing."
"What if I'm not looking forward?"
"Don't worry...you'll see it."
"So then I get a minute, right?"
"Yup."
"Is there any other warning?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, like, another, maybe differently colored light flashing at the 30 second mark."
"Ummm, no."
"Can you have one for me?"

Anyway - make reservations - it's for the New Talent 6:30 show, Saturday July 9th

Rock On,

Aitch