Counting Down to Standing Up - Part 2

So Saturday morning I realized that I wasn't nervous about my upcoming gig.
It took me about five minutes to realize that I wasn't nervous because one doesn't realize when one is not nervous, only when one is. It probably would've taken longer except for the fact that I think about the gig every few minutes of my waking existence.
But I knew that I wasn't nervous.
To be honest, it scared me.
Why wasn't I nervous?
I should be.
I couldn't even memorize my first joke (true). And after reading it 75,000 times, it wasn't even funny anymore.
And yet, I wasn't nervous.
But why?
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered, "Why?"
I mean, nothing about me's changed.
Friday, I was actually stumbling just telling someone at the dog park about my gig.
Soon, I had this feeling of impending doom, probably what Wile E. Coyote senses, when he's looking at the camera as the shadow of a huge boulder becomes larger and larger, just before he looks up.
My lack of nerves unnerved me.
What if I didn't prepare enough because I didn't fear failure?
How can I be so blase just three weeks from a potentially sweat-drenched humiliation?
What's teh heck's going on here?
A minute later, I felt a tingling sensation in my neck - a common psychosomatic ailment of mine.
Much better.

Confidence Builder #1

So I read what I thought was gonna be my "act" to Bronwen. After finishing, I asked her what she thought.
She replied, "I have a headache."

Confidence Builder #2

"Are any of your friends coming?" I asked Bronwen.
"Yeah, I asked a few. I know Julie's coming."
"Cool, you told her that she has to laugh, right?"
"You don't have to worry about that," Bronwen answered, "Julie laughs at everything!"

Confidence Builder #3

After telling my mom a few jokes over lunch, she said, "That sounds good, and even if you don't do well, don't be discouraged, a lot of comics do poorly their first time out."

Rock On,

Aitch