I'm Too Old For This

First of all, if anyone's around tomorrow, I got the Sal's Laugh-Off semifinals tomorrow - it's gonna be filmed for cable TV

So I started barking this past Wednesday for Comedy Village, a club in the west village. Barking comsists on standing on a street corner for a half-hour, begging people to go to a show. For that I get six minutes of stagetime. Joy.

If you're curious what I say on said corner, here's my condensed version:

AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
(What the heck am I doing here?)
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
(Wait...is that?...yup...rain...perfect)
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
(I'm too old for this)
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
(Thanks Dave, it's great to be here. Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do have a new movie coming out. It's about...)
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!
AWESOME COMEDY SHOW TONITE! DISCOUNT TICKETS! DISCOUNT DRINKS! FIVE DOLLAR MARTINIS!!

At 9 I go in to the club. They have an audience of eight (It could've been worse...if they don't get six, they cancel the show.)

After an hour and a half, I get my six minutes onstage. I perform pretty much to the sounds of silence.

Awesome.

Rock On,

Aitch