Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Dude Sitting Next To Me Just Passed Out

So i'm doing my usual Tuesday AM thing here (i.e. finishing up football pool work, surfing the net, and writing and receiving e-mails) when I look to my left and see the Serial Killer who sits next to me is leaning back in his chair and looked white as a Patrick Swayze's character after he got shot in that movie; the one where Whoopi Goldberg got an Academy Award.

Anyway, I called out to him. "Ken?"
No response. I get up.
"Ken?!"
Nothing.
Not knowing what to do, with my arms flailing, I run into my bosses office.
"Vinny...come out here...something's wrong with Ken!"
By the time I get back, Steve ((dude in middle of divorce) is poking at him, while calling his name. (I'm surprised he wasn't telling him how his ex is brainwashing his daughter against him). After calling his name and receiving no response, Vinnie runs away (presumably to head of HR).
I start calling 911...of course I dial "911" first - busy - because I didn't dial "1" first - so I dial "1911" - busy signal - I panic.
"What the eff?!?" I exclaimed as I realized that I was sweating (what else is new?)
Ken comes to at this point as I continue to dial "1911" to no avail.
I asked if he wanted an ambulance. I was hoping he wouldn't want one since I couldn't get through.
Vinny comes back, explaining that the head of HR called an ambulance.
I asked what do we have to dial to get "911?"
As if I were an idiot, he said, "91911."
I am an idiot.

When we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, he got better (he explained he gets these episodes due to vertigo), and I said, "You know, there's no reason that you cant do some work while you're waiting."
The head of HR said with disapproval, "That's not funny."

When the EMT's took him off, they asked if there's anything else to bring. I said, "He should bring his laptop so that he can do some work in the ambulance."
They all laughed.

One minute. I'm an uncaring idiot...the next, I'm a comedian.

Anyway, his vitals are fine and he's off to the hospital. So far, I've been explaining to people that I'm a hero, since I discovered his state first. So far, my cover hasn't been blown.

Rock On,

Aitch

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