Thursday, October 12, 2006

Hot Yoga

So last night, instead of watching the World Series, I contorted my body into a variety of poses for 90 minutes while in heat that approximated 110 degrees (and I'm not exaggerating). That's what Bikram Yoga is (well, except for the missing the World Series part).

You know how every five years or so scientists change their mind about whether certain items are good for you...you know, things like coffee, dark chocolate, and Woody Allen movies? Well, I wish there were odds I can get that one day a study will announce that Bikram Yoga should be avoided at all costs. In fact, I think the press release will read something like, "We have no idea why anyone thought that standing on one leg while twisting your arms and legs into a pretzel...in a room where temperatures approach 110 degree was good for you, but thanks to this study, it's been confirmed. It's not. Not at all...Serious damage to your heart brain, liver, kidney's, sweat glands and spleen may occur. That is all."

So I started sweated after three minutes. Within ten minutes my face was red, after twenty it was purple and after a half-hour, my skin was bubbling. Several of the poses I couldn't do under normal circumstances, nevermind having to concentrate while sweat burned my eyes.

As we moved into a pose, the instructor (about 5'5" 120 pounds) announced it by name. Here are some of them...
Dandayamana Bibhaktapada Paschimottanasana
Arda Chandrasana Padahastasana

ok..two is enough - I felt like saying "bless you" each time but it didn't seem like the type of crowd that would get, or appreciate it - besides, I had to save my strength.

After class, while still dripping (in fact, I'm still sweating), I asked the instructor how many times one should do it a week to get a benefit out of it.
He replied, "Good question!" and then he thoughtfully continued, I'd say five times."
I laughed. When I noticed that he wasn't even smiling, I stopped.

I'm fairly certain that this Yoga is prohibited under the Geneva Convention and if it isn't, it should be.

Rock On,

Aitch

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