Speechless

I'm still in shock over what happened yesterday in my office. My boss called me into his office and asked me to close the door. Apprehensively, I sat. Then he told me something I never thought I'd hear for as long as I work here...

The 49 year old quiet serial killer who lives with his parents and sits next to me who's worked here for 14 years....quit.
Apparently, he's saved enough that he doesn't have to work anymore.

Between that and that storm last night, I'm pretty sure The Apocalypse is upon us (not to mention 6-6-06 next week - another Omen?)

I told my boss that I want to be part of the process. I ain't working next to two morons who I cant stand (unless it's my fault).

So if you know anyone with 2-4 years of General Ledger experience, here's what we're looking for (per me)...

1. Shouldn't be ambitious - that's number one - there's no room for advancement so if that's what you're looking for, you might as well just bang your head into a wall.

2. Can't be religious - All I need is another religious knucklehead to bond with the first religious knucklehead.

3. Should like sports - It's unfathomable to me that I work in a Wall Street firm and I cant talk sports with anyone here - it's like The Bizarro Firm.

4. If I grumpily answer the first question or two you ask, you should just leave me alone - It means that I'm not in the mood - whether it's work, Pedro Martinez's outing , or whatever....sometimes, I just wanna stare at my computer. I'm fairly certain that you will consider me "The Cool Guy" here and you'll wanna impress me like a puppy dog to his master...but don't. It'll only annoy me.

5. If I then start talking out of nowhere, you should talk too - It means that I'm now in a better mood and can deal with you.

6. Don't ever say "Good morning" to me. For some reason, that phrase annoys me. "What up?" or "how's it going?" will suffice.

7. If you ever get Ring Dings downstairs, you better damn well get me too...or be prepared to share yours.

8. Only say "dude" if you mean it in a disparaging way.

9. You'd better think "Don't Post a Picture if You're Ugly" is the best book title ever.

10. You have to love stand up comedy and have friends who wanna see lots of shows.

I think that's it for now.

Rock On,

Aitch.