Yet ANOTHER Open MIc Story

Open Mic Story

On Sunday I wanted to do an open mic, get ready for my "big gig" on Monday (HA!). I had never been the the Comedy Village, so I subwayed it down to the village. It was cancelled. No, not the village, but the open mic. Swell.

Since I was already out and about and jonsing for a mic, I decided, against my better judgment, to hit the mic at Stand Up New York, my least favorite by far. What makes an open mic good or bad? The host.

The Right Way to run one is to do some material at the beginning and do a joke here and there between acts. If you are fortunate enough to get "real" audience members who stumbled in off the street, make them feel welcome, etc

Then there's The Wrong Way.

Let's forget the fact that this chick (the host - Daniella) feels the need to tell us that she used to be married to a rock star and has made out with several top comics (and she manages to bring it up every open mic...I used to be a regular).

Let's forget the fact that if one of her friends pops in, she'll put them up immediately, making those who got there earlier wait.

Let's forget the fact that she does material in between each comic - and I use that term loosely as her jokes are brutal (there's a reason why she's been hosting an open mic for years).

Let's even forget that I've seen her berate the comics...once saying, "I'm gonna think about you guys tonight while my boyfriend is screwing me to keep from coming."

No, my "favorite" part of this particular mic was how she ripped into the people who wondered in off the street who came in to see some comedy (obviously they had no idea what an open mic is, or how little - intentional - comedy is delivered at an open mic).

She spoke to a couple of chicks who were here in NY for some sort of month-long actors studio intensive class. The host nonchalantly informs them that they are wasting their youth...that acting will only lead to a life of disappointment and squashed dreams. But she was just warming up.

There was another couple of women there, who told Danella that they don't do comedy but they used to do Improv together. Daniella was more than happy to relay that improv is the weak sister of comedy. Feeling like she hadn't laid into them enough, she decided to do an "act out" -

"Here I am, in the Sahara...boy is it hot here... (she wipes her brow)...applause. Now I'm driving a car....(she pretends to drive)...applause. It's ridiculous." Yeah, THAT'S ridiculous. While the actors stayed, the Improvers soon left.

Two and a half hours after it started, I got to go on.

Rock On,

Aitch