It's A Small World (with at least one really bad MC)

So I did a show last night at Stand Up NY. It was supposed to be an "HBO Aspen Callback Show" meaning that a lot of the comics performing were auditioning for The Aspen Comedy Festival. Needless to say, I was not one of them...

The reason that I was invited was to bring five people to the show since it's tough to get a decent crowd on a Monday night (esp in the winter). So I get there and check out the list of performers....it's so long that they needed two pages....I hate when they book like that...it means everyone's getting only five minutes.
When the show started, there were more comics by the bar waiting to go up than audience members.

Anyway,being one of the "bringer" comics, I know that I'm going on close to the end (I know this because they told me - the dude who booked me apologized and told me he'd get me a "real prime time slot next month." I nodded as I watched his nose grow another inch.)

The MC gets on...this chick who's prolly 10 years younger than she looked. She starts doing some crowd work...fine...that's what MC's do. But she's bad at it...really bad. And it's worse when there's little crowd. She starts off merely boring but quickly takes a right turn into insulting territory. There were Indian (from Bombay...not a casino) people sitting in the front who she made fun of...fine. But not only did she keep going but she started doing an Indian accent when speaking. It got uncomfortably quiet, until she picked on some girl who said, "You're not funny," which greatly displeased the MC. She went off on her...telling her how rude she was, blah, blah, blah.

There's a simple rule for an MC - or any comic - when dealing with an audience member. If yer gonna go after them, make sure the crowd is on your side. This crowd - and I use the word "crowd" loosely - wasn't. They hated her more than the crowd hated me on Friday night. The funny thing (to me anyway) was how the situation kept repeating itself. The comics were by and large excellent...then she'd come up to the stage and absolutely kill the crowd (not in a good way). Watching them, I noticed the other comics getting pissed, especially when they were about to go up. The situation actually got even more bizarre. She must've started drinking while other comics were up because she kept missing her cues to get back onstage, leaving the comic up there at the end of his/her set waiting for her...sometimes they didn't wait...they left the stage leaving it empty until she made her way up. She also kept either mispronouncing, and sometimes forgetting the comics' names...in fact, I was worried that she was gonna get me beat up cause she's an idiot (explanation in next paragraph).

The dude who went on before me didn't do well, in fact, he told some rather off-color jokes about blacks (he was Irish...not the black kind) who elicited some boo's. One big black dude in the crowd looked especially perturbed. When the MC went on, she naturally forgot screwed up, and said, "Keep it going for Harris Bloom!" She did this while the black dude and his party were leaving, so they didn't even hear her correct herself. If I get hate mail, I'm forwarding it to her.

I did well...well, as well as one can do in front of the minimal crowd that stuck it out to the bitter end.

Speaking of bitter, the last dude that went on must've been a deranged homeless man who wandered in. He just kept ranted with no apparent puchlines in sight, at times threatening the audience with the mic stand. It really was a fitting conclusion to the evening.

Really weird sidenotes: One of the people who came to see me actually taught preschool to the only other comic on the bill that I knew. Also, one of the other comics on the bill said I looked familiar...he then remembered that we did jury duty together a few months ago. Too bad he didn't stick around to see my act, he could've seen me joke about it.

Rock On,

Aitch