My Screenplay is Writing Itself

As a sidenote, it's bizarre to me how many people tell me that I have great stage presence. I actually feel weird telling people that I have a fear of public speaking, like they won't believe me or something. I wish that I had a copy of my Blind Date interview to show them.

But unfortunately, no one will remember my performance from that night. No sirree.

THE act of the night was this dude who went on like, 13th. He walked up to the stage with a discman in his ears and an unlit cigarette in his hand.

His opening line? (And I've cleaned it up...)

"This effin' sucks! Putting me up like 13th...I effin' hate this club! I effin' hate stand up comedy!"

and it went downhill from there.

At one point, he asked where his friends were. They shouted out to him, and then he said, "This is for you guys...the rest can go eff themselves!"

He then proceeded to maintain that he doesn't even need a mic, so he stepped away from it...but kept talking. I couldn't hear a thing he said for at least a minute.

Jessica, one of the club's bookers, was standing next to me. As the dude was doing this, she was seething, and under her breath whispered, "He is sooo banned!"

I was surprised she didn't get him offstage earlier but then again, she may've been afraid of what he'd do.

He was either on drugs, or forgot to take his drugs.

Either way...he was awesome (in a train wreck sorta way)

Rock On,

Aitch