Two weeks ago, Josie and I started sending out thank you cards for the wedding of the century. We wrote about ten of them, figuring we'll do ten a day and be finished in a week or so.
I think in the two weeks since, we've written five.
So, if yer waiting on one, ummm, I think we have a year, right?
And it prolly doesn't help that we sent one to someone who didn't go and didn't even send us anything.
She told my mom she was surprised to get one. She prolly thought we were being sarcastic a-holes for sending one to her. But not this time. We were just being disorganized a-holes.
harris
Showing posts with label gettin' hitched. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gettin' hitched. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I Dislike People
One of my favorite honeymoon stories*....
I was at the Internet cafe in the resort getting coffee. While the barista was making my coffee, the squat, middle-aged, Midwestern woman behind me struck up a conversation with her.
"Where is Marisol today?"She asked, way too upbeat for 7:30 A.M.
"Marisol is off today."
"Ohh, well, good for her! Day's off are good!" God help me.
After I got my coffee, the woman ordered. I stuck around to put the top on it. Seeing me struggle, the worker asked if I needed help.
"Nah, I got it."
"Oooo, stubborn!" replied Ms. Midwest, while looking at the sales girl.
Getting back to the room, I gave Josie her coffee.
"Why didn't you put the top on?" she asked.
"I'll tell ya layta...do we have any aspirin?"
Rock On,
Aitch
*And by "favorite," I mean, "Most annoying."
I was at the Internet cafe in the resort getting coffee. While the barista was making my coffee, the squat, middle-aged, Midwestern woman behind me struck up a conversation with her.
"Where is Marisol today?"She asked, way too upbeat for 7:30 A.M.
"Marisol is off today."
"Ohh, well, good for her! Day's off are good!" God help me.
After I got my coffee, the woman ordered. I stuck around to put the top on it. Seeing me struggle, the worker asked if I needed help.
"Nah, I got it."
"Oooo, stubborn!" replied Ms. Midwest, while looking at the sales girl.
Getting back to the room, I gave Josie her coffee.
"Why didn't you put the top on?" she asked.
"I'll tell ya layta...do we have any aspirin?"
Rock On,
Aitch
*And by "favorite," I mean, "Most annoying."
Friday, November 14, 2008
Only Of Interest To Those Who Attended (And Even Then, Maybe Not)
My videographer (Melody Cherrington - isn't that a great name by the way? Kinda sounds like the "good" member of an evil family from a soap opera) has put up my wedding videos here.
I think she did a great job (though she cut out part of Josie's vows...and seems to have a foot fetish).
Two points -
Notice how Josie was dancing in the middle of the dance floor (she's the one in the white dress), but to get to me, Melody had to pan to the edge, and there I was, dancing by myself. I'm a wall flower, even at my own wedding.
Also, if you watch the comics' toasts, I love how they all made it into a semi-roast - Doug Adler said that a picture of me from my younger days that was displayed looked like the love child of Woody Allen and Elton John. Josh Homer said that I'm "brutally honest," and my favorite, Mike Saperstein said that I don't suffer fools lightly.
I guess now you really don't have to watch it...unless you love us...or Journey.
Rock On,
Aitch
I think she did a great job (though she cut out part of Josie's vows...and seems to have a foot fetish).
Two points -
Notice how Josie was dancing in the middle of the dance floor (she's the one in the white dress), but to get to me, Melody had to pan to the edge, and there I was, dancing by myself. I'm a wall flower, even at my own wedding.
Also, if you watch the comics' toasts, I love how they all made it into a semi-roast - Doug Adler said that a picture of me from my younger days that was displayed looked like the love child of Woody Allen and Elton John. Josh Homer said that I'm "brutally honest," and my favorite, Mike Saperstein said that I don't suffer fools lightly.
I guess now you really don't have to watch it...unless you love us...or Journey.
Rock On,
Aitch
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Honeymoon - Part One
A few stories from our honeymoon in Mexico...
When we got off the plane, the dude we were sposed to meet told us the shuttle to the hotel will be there in fifteen minutes, "which is an hour in Mexican time." I guess the Caribbean doesn't have a monopoly on that joke - I think I hear that every time I go away, but I do recall that in Jamaica, after dinner the first night, I started ordering my check during the appetizers (or I'd be there for four hours).
As warned, due to the guest/chair ratio, guests at the hotel put towels on lounge chairs by the pool really early...like 6:30 AM early. Then they went back to sleep. By 8 AM, every chair was taken, though very few people were out.
Can you imagine if people did this in New York? Like if someone went to a sports bar on Sunday morning, put a towel and some flip-flops on a stool and then left for a few hours? I'd love to see the argument when he got back, asked where his flip-flops were and was directed to the bathroom...stall number two.
More Later
Rock On,
Aitch
When we got off the plane, the dude we were sposed to meet told us the shuttle to the hotel will be there in fifteen minutes, "which is an hour in Mexican time." I guess the Caribbean doesn't have a monopoly on that joke - I think I hear that every time I go away, but I do recall that in Jamaica, after dinner the first night, I started ordering my check during the appetizers (or I'd be there for four hours).
As warned, due to the guest/chair ratio, guests at the hotel put towels on lounge chairs by the pool really early...like 6:30 AM early. Then they went back to sleep. By 8 AM, every chair was taken, though very few people were out.
Can you imagine if people did this in New York? Like if someone went to a sports bar on Sunday morning, put a towel and some flip-flops on a stool and then left for a few hours? I'd love to see the argument when he got back, asked where his flip-flops were and was directed to the bathroom...stall number two.
More Later
Rock On,
Aitch
Friday, November 7, 2008
Top Five Awkward Moments From My Wedding
5. Visiting Josie's relatives table -
The conversation went something like...
Them: Congratulations!
Me: Thanks!
(silence)
Me: Okay, I should keep moving...seeya!
4. First Dance -
As mentioned, we were sposed to take some lessons but due to our busy scheds, we never really got around to it, so we just bounced around for the three minutes and twenty nine seconds. At the two minute mark, I whispered to Josie, "Is it over soon?"
3 - Waiting for anyone to arrive
As mentioned, I got to the place too early. The caterer felt so bad for me she told Josie I was there by myself, so Josie called a buddy to come down to keep me company. But I didn't wanna put him out, so I just sat there, and watched the caterers set up. They did ask me a few logistical questions, and it was a good thing I was there....
Them: Can we move this table out a bit, like to here?
Me: Ummm, I dunno, it's up to Josie...you better ask her.
Them: Oh, okay, thanks anyway.
(I sat back down)
2. Visiting my friends' tables -
The conversations went something like...
Them: Nice party!
Me: Yeah, thanks...it does seem to be goin' pretty well.
(silence)
Me: Okay, I guess I should keep moving...seeya layta!
1. The Last Dance.
Rock On,
Aitch
The conversation went something like...
Them: Congratulations!
Me: Thanks!
(silence)
Me: Okay, I should keep moving...seeya!
4. First Dance -
As mentioned, we were sposed to take some lessons but due to our busy scheds, we never really got around to it, so we just bounced around for the three minutes and twenty nine seconds. At the two minute mark, I whispered to Josie, "Is it over soon?"
3 - Waiting for anyone to arrive
As mentioned, I got to the place too early. The caterer felt so bad for me she told Josie I was there by myself, so Josie called a buddy to come down to keep me company. But I didn't wanna put him out, so I just sat there, and watched the caterers set up. They did ask me a few logistical questions, and it was a good thing I was there....
Them: Can we move this table out a bit, like to here?
Me: Ummm, I dunno, it's up to Josie...you better ask her.
Them: Oh, okay, thanks anyway.
(I sat back down)
2. Visiting my friends' tables -
The conversations went something like...
Them: Nice party!
Me: Yeah, thanks...it does seem to be goin' pretty well.
(silence)
Me: Okay, I guess I should keep moving...seeya layta!
1. The Last Dance.
Rock On,
Aitch
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Most Important Picture From The Wedding....
Yes...The Hostess Cake Tower (and yeah, the couple perched on top is black).Thanks to Josie, as well as her friends Jen and Dacia, for making my wedding dream a reality.
Rock On,
Aitch
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Just What I Needed
So, some wedding highlights (with a few low lights thrown in for flava!)...
Josie and her friends were at Loft 11 (where we got maddied) by like one o'clock (we were gettin' maddied at six). I was home, hanging with Stewie. By two-thirty, I was getting fidgety, and figured I may as well get over there myself. One problem - once there, I had nothing to do. Josie didn't want me to see her, so I just sat in the back by myself while workers prepared the ceremony space.
The ceremony was great - it was performed by Pastor April of The Church of the Ancient Ways. Have to admit that I was slightly disappointed, as I kind of expected her to walk in wearing a hooded robe like a druid. One of the readings was a synopsis of our first few e-mails to each other on match.com (where we met). I'll post it later.
Before the wedding, Josie mentioned a few times how she thought she may cry during the ceremony. I thought my vows (we'd written our own) would assuredly open her tear ducts so I brought tissues with me. They're still in my pocket as she never shed a tear (except when I stepped on her while dancing). I still can't believe that. But, she did look stunning... heck, I almost cried.
The food was ridiculously good (catered by Thomas Preti). Fact is, most people remember one thing from weddings - the food (and if anything embarrassing happened), so we decided to spend our (well, her parents') money there. Funny thing is though everything as awesome, I think just as many people mentioned the hot dogs in jackets as they mentioned the mini-lamb chops, peking duck rolls, butternut squash soup shots (w/toasted cheese on side), etc. Lesson is, no matter what kinda even yer plannin', make sher ya got franks in blankets. I'll bet Obama has 'em at his inauguration. You watch.
First Dance - Just What I Needed by The Cars - We were sposed to take some lessons given our offbeat choice, but we were too busy, so we just winged it. The three and a half minutes felt like about ten, but thankfully, everyone dug our choice and some even joined in (with the DJ's and our prodding).
Speaking of, the DJ was awesome - even the catering staff told me they'd heard a lot of DJ's (obviously) and this dude was one of the best. He said that he was gonna tear the roof off of the place, and he did. By ten o'clock, I was sweatin' like Patrick Ewing in 2002.
The cake was a stack of cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine. I picked them out myself, so you know they ruled. Josie surprised me with a "Groom's Cake," making my own idea come to life! Yup, a tower of Hostess goodness. Pictures to come.
Since we didn't have any bridal party (it would have been too embarrassing for me - Josie has tons of friends, while I have...nevermind), we had an open mic for toasts - anyone had the opp to sign up and say a few words. I highly recommend inviting a few comics to your wedding for this reason alone. Several people told me how much fun this part was. Of course, none of my friends from back home (or my brother) spoke, so it looked like all my friends are comics I've met in the last few years. Whatever...
Speaking of, though our wedding definitely had a unique quality about it, I don't think any one thing was particularly unique, unless, you've never heard a toast end with, "Umm...well, whatever," before handing the microphone over, as Josie's father's toast ended.
The last song of the wedding was Don't Stop Believing by Journey. If our first dance felt like ten minutes, this felt like twenty. Why? Hearing the first chords brought everyone under forty onto the circumference of the dance floor (Josie's brother ended a conversation he was having with his folks in mid-sentence), where they locked arm-in-arm and swayed to Steve Perry's soaring vocals. Fine... but Josie and I were in the middle. Picture that...what were we sposed to do? Well, we sung, swayed a bit, for all I remember, I may've played air guitar....I really don't know. And I don't really wanna know.
I haven't seen the video yet, but I'm curious to see what our videographer's done. We decided to give a girl out of college her first gig. In her e-mail to me, she assured me that she graduated from the top of her class with a 3.907 GPA, and never got below an A- in any film class. So, yeah, I'm curious (don't get too excited...she left before Journey took the stage).
That's it for now... I hate long posts anyway...Will post anything important I forgot and write a honeymoon recap later, or manana.
Rock On,
Aitch
Josie and her friends were at Loft 11 (where we got maddied) by like one o'clock (we were gettin' maddied at six). I was home, hanging with Stewie. By two-thirty, I was getting fidgety, and figured I may as well get over there myself. One problem - once there, I had nothing to do. Josie didn't want me to see her, so I just sat in the back by myself while workers prepared the ceremony space.
The ceremony was great - it was performed by Pastor April of The Church of the Ancient Ways. Have to admit that I was slightly disappointed, as I kind of expected her to walk in wearing a hooded robe like a druid. One of the readings was a synopsis of our first few e-mails to each other on match.com (where we met). I'll post it later.
Before the wedding, Josie mentioned a few times how she thought she may cry during the ceremony. I thought my vows (we'd written our own) would assuredly open her tear ducts so I brought tissues with me. They're still in my pocket as she never shed a tear (except when I stepped on her while dancing). I still can't believe that. But, she did look stunning... heck, I almost cried.
The food was ridiculously good (catered by Thomas Preti). Fact is, most people remember one thing from weddings - the food (and if anything embarrassing happened), so we decided to spend our (well, her parents') money there. Funny thing is though everything as awesome, I think just as many people mentioned the hot dogs in jackets as they mentioned the mini-lamb chops, peking duck rolls, butternut squash soup shots (w/toasted cheese on side), etc. Lesson is, no matter what kinda even yer plannin', make sher ya got franks in blankets. I'll bet Obama has 'em at his inauguration. You watch.
First Dance - Just What I Needed by The Cars - We were sposed to take some lessons given our offbeat choice, but we were too busy, so we just winged it. The three and a half minutes felt like about ten, but thankfully, everyone dug our choice and some even joined in (with the DJ's and our prodding).
Speaking of, the DJ was awesome - even the catering staff told me they'd heard a lot of DJ's (obviously) and this dude was one of the best. He said that he was gonna tear the roof off of the place, and he did. By ten o'clock, I was sweatin' like Patrick Ewing in 2002.
The cake was a stack of cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine. I picked them out myself, so you know they ruled. Josie surprised me with a "Groom's Cake," making my own idea come to life! Yup, a tower of Hostess goodness. Pictures to come.
Since we didn't have any bridal party (it would have been too embarrassing for me - Josie has tons of friends, while I have...nevermind), we had an open mic for toasts - anyone had the opp to sign up and say a few words. I highly recommend inviting a few comics to your wedding for this reason alone. Several people told me how much fun this part was. Of course, none of my friends from back home (or my brother) spoke, so it looked like all my friends are comics I've met in the last few years. Whatever...
Speaking of, though our wedding definitely had a unique quality about it, I don't think any one thing was particularly unique, unless, you've never heard a toast end with, "Umm...well, whatever," before handing the microphone over, as Josie's father's toast ended.
The last song of the wedding was Don't Stop Believing by Journey. If our first dance felt like ten minutes, this felt like twenty. Why? Hearing the first chords brought everyone under forty onto the circumference of the dance floor (Josie's brother ended a conversation he was having with his folks in mid-sentence), where they locked arm-in-arm and swayed to Steve Perry's soaring vocals. Fine... but Josie and I were in the middle. Picture that...what were we sposed to do? Well, we sung, swayed a bit, for all I remember, I may've played air guitar....I really don't know. And I don't really wanna know.
I haven't seen the video yet, but I'm curious to see what our videographer's done. We decided to give a girl out of college her first gig. In her e-mail to me, she assured me that she graduated from the top of her class with a 3.907 GPA, and never got below an A- in any film class. So, yeah, I'm curious (don't get too excited...she left before Journey took the stage).
That's it for now... I hate long posts anyway...Will post anything important I forgot and write a honeymoon recap later, or manana.
Rock On,
Aitch
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
...And I'm Back
Will write (funny) details tonight or manana (likely) but wedding and honeymoon (I hate that word almost as much as "fiance") were great.
Rock On,
Aitch
Rock On,
Aitch
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Live From the Cabo Azul Resort and Spa!
Howdy,
Lots to tell y'all, but if I spend too much time online, Josie will make herself a widow.
The wedding was better than we'd imagined and as good as we'd hoped. This resort rocks (though we did just sit with a Tom Skerritt lookalike, while he cut-up and ate spaghetti in front of us while trying to sell us a time share. Then he told how bad the spaghetti was.)
More in a day or two (or five).
Rock On,
Aitch
Lots to tell y'all, but if I spend too much time online, Josie will make herself a widow.
The wedding was better than we'd imagined and as good as we'd hoped. This resort rocks (though we did just sit with a Tom Skerritt lookalike, while he cut-up and ate spaghetti in front of us while trying to sell us a time share. Then he told how bad the spaghetti was.)
More in a day or two (or five).
Rock On,
Aitch
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I Am Getting Maddied in Five Hours and Forty-Seven Minutes
The cupcake delivery service just called to confirm where they are delivering them.
Me: Um, no... that's not right. Here's the address...
I'm not telling Josie.
Rock On,
Aitch
Me: Um, no... that's not right. Here's the address...
I'm not telling Josie.
Rock On,
Aitch
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Remember: The Wedding Is Saturday
Weather Forecast by day (via: www.weather.com)
Today - "Abundant sunshine..."
Tomorrow - "Plentiful sunshine..."
Saturday - "Windy with Showers at times..."
Sunday - "Plenty of sun..."
Rock On,
Aitch
Today - "Abundant sunshine..."
Tomorrow - "Plentiful sunshine..."
Saturday - "Windy with Showers at times..."
Sunday - "Plenty of sun..."
Rock On,
Aitch
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Important Wedding Question
Does "Eggbert" have one "g" or two? I thought two, but looking around the Internets, it looks like one is sufficient.
Rock On,
Aitch
Rock On,
Aitch
Monday, October 20, 2008
Give Me Some Credit
Someone at work just asked if I'm freaking out cause I'm getting maddied this Saturday.
"No."
"Yeah, you look really calm"
What does she expect, my veins to be popping out of my head, eyes bulging out of their sockets, and me speaking in tongues?
I'm saving those for Friday.
Rock On,
Aitch
"No."
"Yeah, you look really calm"
What does she expect, my veins to be popping out of my head, eyes bulging out of their sockets, and me speaking in tongues?
I'm saving those for Friday.
Rock On,
Aitch
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wedding Teaser
Our DJ told us that our first song is the best he's heard in a long time.
He also said he couldn't find an edited version of F*** Tha Police, so, sorry Jill, your request is has been denied*
Rock On,
Aitch
* We actually put it on the list, but the DJ's were like, "Do you really want that? I mean, it's cool with us, but if there are kids there..." and that was that.
He also said he couldn't find an edited version of F*** Tha Police, so, sorry Jill, your request is has been denied*
Rock On,
Aitch
* We actually put it on the list, but the DJ's were like, "Do you really want that? I mean, it's cool with us, but if there are kids there..." and that was that.
Bachelor Party! (The Speeded Up Final Chapter)
Long story short, we ate at Angelo and Maxie's - some wanted to go out afterwards, like you know, in a normal bachelor party, but I was already full and drunk, which was pretty much the goal of the evening. So I was happy to call it a night...at 10:30 PM*, but not before my bro and I hit Cold Stone Creamery (or is it Stone Cold?) for ice cream.
As far as I'm concerned, steak, appletini's, and ice cream pretty much is the perfect night anyway.
Rock On,
Aitch
* I can prolly get in the Guinness Book of World Records for "Earliest Time to Call It A Night On Your Bachelor Party"
As far as I'm concerned, steak, appletini's, and ice cream pretty much is the perfect night anyway.
Rock On,
Aitch
* I can prolly get in the Guinness Book of World Records for "Earliest Time to Call It A Night On Your Bachelor Party"
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Bachelor Party! Part Tres
After the Gotham show, a couple of friends and I had a half-hour to kill before meeting the rest of my friends at Angelo and Maxie's.
So we went to Duke's, kind of a honky-tonk bbq joint.
My two buds got PBR's. When I ordered and Appletini, the waitress looked up from her pad and asked, "For real?"
"Yes, I never joke about Appletini's."
Rock On,
Aitch
So we went to Duke's, kind of a honky-tonk bbq joint.
My two buds got PBR's. When I ordered and Appletini, the waitress looked up from her pad and asked, "For real?"
"Yes, I never joke about Appletini's."
Rock On,
Aitch
Monday, October 13, 2008
Bachelor Party! (Cont.)
I started the evening by performing at Gotham. Luck was with me as not only were there a couple of newbies performing (meaning they brought a lot of people), but a few of the comics didn't show. So I got to do about 12/13 minutes for the 50 or so people in attendance, who were very appreciative of my comedic stylings.
Though I don't usually get the free drink that performing comics get at the club, I did this time, figurin' an Amstel Light is a good, slow way to start what was sure to be a highlight-reel kinda evening full of, ummm, highlights.
To Be Cont....
Rock On,
Aitch
Though I don't usually get the free drink that performing comics get at the club, I did this time, figurin' an Amstel Light is a good, slow way to start what was sure to be a highlight-reel kinda evening full of, ummm, highlights.
To Be Cont....
Rock On,
Aitch
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Bachelor Party
For the second and last time in my life, I had a bachelor party in my honor last night.
There were twenty-three people at my first bachelor party in 1992. There were ten at Angelo & Maxie's last night. That means one of two things, either 1) I was more popular back then, or 2) I am now more selective about whom I wanna hang with.
A couple of stories, manana.
Rock On,
Aitch
There were twenty-three people at my first bachelor party in 1992. There were ten at Angelo & Maxie's last night. That means one of two things, either 1) I was more popular back then, or 2) I am now more selective about whom I wanna hang with.
A couple of stories, manana.
Rock On,
Aitch
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Really Nice Of Him
A few years ago, someone at my job got married. Her name was Aleta, though I'm not sure if I'm spelling it correctly. As was customary for people getting married, the office got her a card and we took up a collection, ending up with $500. The Friday before her wedding, we shared cake and gave her the gift. On Monday, she called in to quit. That was the last time we took up a collection for anyone getting married.
This morning, we had a breakfast in honor of my wedding. Though there was nothing chocolate-filled. chocolate-covered, or chocolate-encased, it was fine.
When I got back to my desk, the head of one of our (only) revenue-producing lines came over, congratulated me, and gave me a card from him and his family. Even though we're worked together for eight years, we don't talk much except to exchange daily and/or bitch about the company. Very nice of him, I thought. Then I opened up the card.
Inside were twenty-five twenties.
Rock On,
Aitch
This morning, we had a breakfast in honor of my wedding. Though there was nothing chocolate-filled. chocolate-covered, or chocolate-encased, it was fine.
When I got back to my desk, the head of one of our (only) revenue-producing lines came over, congratulated me, and gave me a card from him and his family. Even though we're worked together for eight years, we don't talk much except to exchange daily and/or bitch about the company. Very nice of him, I thought. Then I opened up the card.
Inside were twenty-five twenties.
Rock On,
Aitch
Friday, October 3, 2008
Just Got Marriage License
Found out that not only can Josie change her surname, but I could change mine.
I may regret this after the initial sheen wears off but from now on, my official name is Harris Fancypants.
Rock On,
Aitch
I may regret this after the initial sheen wears off but from now on, my official name is Harris Fancypants.
Rock On,
Aitch
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