Someone's Pretty Serious About The Super Bowl

Leaving work on Friday, I shared an elevator down with a co-worker.

"What are your weekend plans?" he asked.

"I gotta show tonight and tomorrow night, and just watching the Super Bowl Sunday. How about you?"

"Same thing...except for the shows."

"Sooooo, you're watching the Super Bowl."

"Yeah," he replied, and then, looking at watch, added, "I have 49 hours to get ready."

Harris

Hmmm

I saw an ad recently for this doctor offering 20% off that Lasic eye surgery. Not sure I even want a to be able to use a coupon for eye surgery. Certain things you really don't wanna look for a bargain. Eye surgery being one...sushi would be another.

Harris

Lotta Questions...No Answers

I was watching some show on the TLC channel (which, by the way, they should rename the "Thank God This Isn't You Network") when they went to commercial.

One commercial was for Jon and Kate plus 8, another was for Table for 12 (about a couple with 12 kids) and yet another for 18 And Counting (about a couple with 18 kids!).

I guess my question is - why does anyone watch the one with 8 kids (or even 12) if there's one with 18 kids? I assume people watch to see how these couples deal with all the kids, so wouldn't it make sense that they'd wanna watch the one with the most difficult job?

It kinda reminds me of buying bread in the supermarket. They have loaves of 8-grain bread next to 12-grain bread next to 15-grain bread.

Why would anyone buy the 8 grain bread? How long will it be till there's a 20 grain bread? Then again, are there 20 grains?

I have a headache.

Harris

Deep Fried Turducken

Right now, the number one search on Yahoo is "deep fried turkucken."

I'm pretty sure that's cause that's what the pilgrims ate at the first Thanksgiving.

Harris

Bill Simmons ("The Sports Guy") Is An Idiot

This isn't gonna be about his deficiencies as a writer.

I mean, YES, he uses the same lines time and time again, and YES, it is ridiculous how he STILL uses Shawshank, The Karate Kid and Rocky movies to underscore his points. Also, his increased popularity, coinciding with his move to L.A. has changed his point of view, from "man of the people" to "check me out, hanging with Jimmy (that's Mr. Kimmel to you) while watching all ten games on my sweet plasma screen setup."

He also got kinda screwed by the fact that his Boston teams became good, and with that often comes mass hatred (pun intended) - I don't think he handles that well, incorporating an "eff you" bent to his columns, but whatever.

This is about his lack of knowledge of gambling, something he professes to know a lot about, and continually makes the same wrong point, as he did in his latest column when he wrote...

"I tried to determine a science for picking games in the first few weeks. Bookies are terrified of that stretch for this reason: There's no ironclad way to distinguish good teams from the bad teams yet."

My problem is with his declaration that "bookies are terrified."

Wrong.

Bookies don't set the lines. We do. All bookies care about is making sure that half the money goes to each team...that way they make coin no matter who covers.

A team like Dallas, which has a huge national following, gets a few points it's way just because it has so many fans who bet on them (bookies try to get gamblers to bet on their opposition). It has nothing to do with bookies liking Dallas.

I swear, every time he writes that I feel like getting The Sisters to pay him a visit. Or Byron Hadley. Or at least sweeping his leg.

Harris

Confused

Why is David Spade catching flak about his ad with the late Chris Farley? I don't recall anyone saying songs where dead people are singing to be in poor taste.

Harris

Random Pics

Haven't felt like posting much, but here are some pics for youse...

An actual "Thank you" letter...

As you can see, I wasn't the only one of us with an awkward childhood...

I was green before green was cool -

Um, is that a lion taking a crap on a toilet?

Josie at Stan's (a famous bar) after a Yankee game...

Me at Stan's after a Yankee game...

harris

Sotomayor Refuses To Discuss Abortion (Not Hers)

I love it how Supreme Court nominees don't have to say how they would vote on specific topics, like abortion.

I'd love to be able to go on a job interview and when dude asks what my weaknesses are, I'd say, "You'll see."

Harris

We Have A Winner!

As told in my Breakfast Bigamy post below, I was conflicted about my choice of breakfast cart...until this morning.

Hungry, I decided to get the eggs/cheese/roll from Johnny Come Lately. Sure, he asked me about my weekend and all...I couldn't care less...but he gave me free bacon.

My choice has been made.

Harris

Someone's Getting Fired

harris

The Best Part Of A T & T Park?

harris

I Think Someone Had A Dream

Upon waking, Josie asked, "You would give me more than five minutes notice if you needed to go to Serbia to do Regulatory Accounting work, right?"

harris

One Article To Avoid

Featured "human interest" articles on Yahoo's main page are often ridiculous, but I think this one is the worst (only cause it's the current one - tomorrow will have a new worst).

7 topics to avoid if you don't want to be a bore? I can make an argument that not only are they all viable conversation starters at a party, but, conversely (or inversely?) to their point, all have ways the listener to totally join in.

I'm not gonna bore you with breakdown's of each...let's just do the first and last -

1 - a dream - now, obviously, if your dream is boring, then, yeah, don't talk about it...but then again, that goes with anything. And, if your dream story may enable someone else to talk about theirs...and the conversation blooms...

7 - The plot of a movie, play or book—in particular, the funny parts - Huh? How many party conversations don't entail discussing books, play, or movies, and especially the funny parts? I seriously think this woman must've had six, thought seven is needed for a list, and just wrote this down, even though it's asinine.

The only thing I don't talk about at parties is how I don't want Col. Jessup on that wall, I need him on that wall.

But I'd love to know what the author, Gretchen Rubin, does talk about at parties.

Than again, maybe I'm a bore at parties.

harris

The Millionaire Matchmaker

I never watch the show as I find her nauseating but was flipping around yesterday when I saw her talking to someone in his 40's but was desperately, and unconvincingly, trying to look younger.

She said, "We'll get you some botox, change your hair, just try to youth-anize you."

Neither one of them laughed, smirked, or even changed expressions, so I assume neither one of them knew what she was saying.

harris

My Doc Has A Case Of The Mondays

I never mind hearing "Ya ever have one of those days ya just don't feel like working?" from a co-worker.

I'm less thrilled when hearing it from my doctor.

harris

I Wont Need Anaesthesia

I'm having a test done tomorrow where I have to drink only clear liquids today. My friend suggested Grey Goose.

harris

Run For Your Lives!

Last week, Mayor Bloomberg tried out his Mother Bloom impression. I also heard Obama say that it was reason for caution, but not panic."

My question is...Will he let us know when it is time for panic?

harris

Synergy

Drove down (up?) to PA a week ago. In addition to a few regular gun shops, we passed one store that was advertised as a "Clothing/Guns Store"

I wonder if the "clothing" section featured bulletproof vests.

harris

Platform? What's A Platform?

This guy must be quite the candidate...

Gonna post here if link goes bad....

US Senate Candidate Seeks Talented, Inspirational Speechwriter (New York City / State)

Reply to: mailto:gigs-gqgxm-1145292537@craigslist.org?subject=US%20Senate%20Candidate%20Seeks%20Talented,%20Inspirational%20Speechwriter%20(New%20York%20City%20/%20State) [Errors when replying to ads?]Date: 2009-04-28, 11:34PM EDT
Probable candidate in the United States Senate special primary in New York in 2010 seeks young, well-rounded, dedicated speechwriter with prior experience writing political speeches. Candidate is early 40s, pragmatic progressive (in the Obama vein) with over 30 years in grassroots Democratic politics and diverse, entrepreneurial career. Applicants must believe strongly in government's ability to promote the common good, be pro gun control and immigrant, and be committed to changing the way Washington operates. Strong understanding of small business, finance, energy, and education issues helpful. Degree in political science, economics, another social science, and/or business a plus. Position is volunteer to begin with, but could quickly turn into a full-time paid position. Please forward RESUME WITH COVER LETTER for consideration.
Location: New York City / State
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

So, he's looking for a speechwriter to work for no pay (at first)...and he wants to find him/her, on Craigslist!

All I can say is, wow, Rudy Giuliani has really fallen on hard times, huh?

harris

What Exactly Is In Those Eggs?

I saw this sign outside a cafe this morning...

Why the quotation marks around "eggs?"

Reminded me of a favorite site.

harris