Is Mark McGwire Kidding?!?

If you haven't heard, Mark McGwire finally admitted taking steroids.

He said he famously refused to answer questions during Congressional hearings about steroids because he was protecting his family (he didn't have immunity btw).

He said he came clean now because he just got hired as hitting coach for the St. Louis Cards, and didn't want to become a distraction to the team.

So, basically, he kept quiet AND came clean to for others' sake. Is he a great guy or what?

In his interview he claimed they helped him with injury but didn't affect his power numbers. I dont have them in front of me, but I'd be willing to bet that his numbers from 1989 to 1993 paled in comparison to the period from 1994 to 2000 (or whenever he retired).

There is also talk about whether his admission will help his chances of getting into the Hall of Fame (He was named on 23 percent of the ballots last time...you need 75% for inclusion).

What?!?

Why should his chances be higher because he admitted to cheating (which everyone with half a brain suspected all along)? We should reward him for cheating because he decided to be honest?

Read that again.

Right.

Harris

The World Series

People asked me who I was rooting for since, as a Mets fan, the Yanks and Phils are both our arch-enemies.

I responded, "Just like in Rocky 5, I was rooting for the end."

Harris

Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen

I told Josie, a Yankee fan, that it looks like the Yanks signed prized free agent pitcher C.C. Sabathia.
She replied, "He'll probably suck."

harris

Dumbest Strategy In Football

Last weekend, I was watching the Arizona/Dallas game. Towards the end of regulation, the Dallas kicker was about to try fora 50+ yard field goal when just as the ball was about to be snapped, the coach of Arizona called timeout. The field goal was blocked, but didn't count. After play resumed, he tried again, this time making the field goal.

This week, the same play occurred in the Jets/Oakland game (it prolly happens in a lot of games, I just don't watch a lot of games). The Jets kicker was about to go for a FG, he missed, but the Oakland coach had called TO, thereby nullifying the play. The kicker subsequently made the FG.

Let's forget about whether this is a ridiculous rule - fact is, a coach can call a TO anytime before the ball is snapped - nothing you can do about that. But should they?

It seems like a horrible strategy. I realize they are trying to "ice" the kicker, i.e. make him more nervous by making him wait longer. But isn't it more nerve racking to come into a game cold and be asked to kick a FG, rather than given one free practice?

The only practice he's gotten for the last few minutes was to kick the ball into one of those practice nets on the sideline. He has no idea how to play the wind, how straight he's hitting it, how sloppy the field is, etc. You're giving him all that information!

The funny thing is how it's almost become de rigueur for coaches to employ this strategy*, which means one thing: If you really hate the coach of your favorite team, jump off a bridge, he'll definitely follow you.

Rock On,

Aitch

* The correct stratgey is the old one...where coaches called TO's to ice the kicker before he tried his first attempt. That way, he doesn't get any "real time" practice.

The Redneck Riviera

I'm always late to the party, and not fashionably late either. I didn't have a date till I was about 20. I didn't get my ear pieced till I was out of college, and working on Wall Street. And yesterday was the first time I ever did the whole face-painting thing. I didn't plan on it - my buddy was drunk and said he'd pay. That's' all I needed...Here's another pic of me in my head-painted glory.

By the way, it was about 150 degrees yesterday, and due to the paint, I couldn't wipe my head. The sweat just kept dripping into my eyes. By the end of the day, my eyes were so bloodshot, I looked like a zombie.

As my friend Q noted, it doesn't matter where you tailgate, New Jersey, Wisconsin, or Florida, there all look the same. Using a phrase from the movie Cry Baby, I described it as The Redneck Riviera...

Not to say my friends are idiots, but when cleaning up, they put the still-hot coals from the bbq into our garbage bag and then tried to walk it over to the garbage...not surprisingly, this is what resulted...

The game? Oh, it sucked...Though the stadium was as loud as I'd ever heard it at the start of the game, by the middle of the second quarter, when it was apparent these were the "same ol' Jets," it got quiet and really never got loud again.

Ack...

Rock On,

Aitch

Details Later...

Still MORE Olympic Coverage

I was watching the equestrian finals today (yes, I lead an exciting life) and couldn't help but wonder who gets the actual medals...the riders (are they called jockeys?), or the horses? The horses do all the work...what do the riders do, besides perhaps yelling "Jump!" at the appropriate time.

The horses are taking all the chances, even taking steroids!

Instead of Gold, Silver and Bronze, I would think they'd give Chocolate, Carrots and Hay (I'll assume every animal loves chocolate...though dunno if they are like dogs and can't eat it).

I think my favorite part was the announcer telling us after one horse knocked over a hurdle, "She barely made it over the last one...that shouda been a warning sign for her."

Yeah, the horses are analyzing their own jumps. I'm sure it was the pressure of the situation.

The American rider was named Beezie Madden and got her first pony as a birthday gift when she was four.

I rooted against her as I hate anyone who had a pony as a child.

Rock On,

Aitch

More Olympic Coverage

Watching some of the swimming tonight - I coulda sworn that pool had a lifeguard.

Man, what a great summer gig.

Rock On,

Aitch

Yet More Oympic Coverage!

If he wins his ninety-four gold medals or whatever, I think Michael Phelps will owe Jason Lezak a beer (or two).

I don't get it...NBC is trying its best to get us to watch...telling us how long it is till Phelp's next gold...telling us how awesome we are...trotting out Bob Costas's toupee...etc...and yet, they insist on showing us George Bush every two seconds.

I just saw that a volleyballer lost their wedding band while competing. Why would you wear it if there's a chance of it falling off? Which reminds me, why do the swimmers wear earrings? I mean, all they care about is reducing drag, but apparently not at the risk of not looking their sexiest.

Rock On,

Aitch

Important Olympic Coverage

Since I can see how people find my blog, I know the most important question of the Olympics is...

"Is Bob Costas wearing a toupee?"

Rock On,

Aitch

Continued Olympic Coverage...

So I saw Bob Costas (btw - what's up with his hair? Either he's wearing a wig, or he's dippin' a bit too deep into that Grecian Formula) interviewing the American women fencing team that finished 1,2 and 3. During the interview, they mentioned that they are going to Notre Dame, Duke and Yale.

Prolly a good thing I didn't know that before, or I woulda rooted for the Chinese.

Rock On,

Aitch

I Have Discovered Brett Favre's Secret To Success....

I'm thinking it has to do with the bizarre alignment of the fingers on his throwing (right) arm.

Rock On,

Aitch

Final Warning

This is an open letter to all my enemies -

Dear All My Enemies,

This is your last chance. I am going to check out various gyms for their classes in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu next week. I hope to begin classes in two weeks.

One thing - since BJJ is better when fought on the ground, I'd appreciate if you'd accept my invitation to begin our fights on all fours.

Thank you,

Rock On,

Aitch

Pretty Sketchy

Did y'all see this? Hideki Matsui got maddied ("Married?!?", "Yes!! Maddied!!!"). By doing so, he won a bet between him, Derek Jeter and Bobby Abreu, teammates on the Yankees. But that wasn't the best part...the best part is when he announced his marriage to the press he showed a sketch of his wife...

As Josie asked, "What is she, on the FBI's Most Wanted List?"

Actually, it's not even the oddest marriage-related item from New York Yankee history, That honor is a tie between pitchers Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson, who in 1973 traded wives, kids and dogs!

Rock On,

Aitch

The Today Show Are Enablers

Before I get into this, I will be posting a new Fresh Direct related post later today/early manana, so stay tuned...and yes, that means you, freshdirect.com who's been snoopin' around here since my last post - actually, that IS the crux of my post...so umm, that's it, basically Big Brother is watching).

ANYWAY, this morning, I was watching the idiots on The Today Show laughing at nothing (as usual), when they did a segment on a prank concocted by some members of The Philadelphia Phillies upon a teammate. Fine...

They interviewed head-prankster and fun-loving guy, pitcher Brett Myers . The problem is, he is a douchebag. A Class A douchebag at that.

If you check out the wikipedia page I linked to, or do a search, you'll see that he was arrested last year for punching his wife in public. He wasn't suspended or anything, but took a short leave to deal with it. Of course, she declined to press charges but they are in counselling.

BTW - This story is reason 639,791 that I'm no longer into sports. It's impossible to root for any of these guys.

And, oh yeah, he was an amateur boxer. Beautiful.

Rock On,

Aitch

The Moment of Truth

Roger Clemens is testifying before Congress right now about his "alleged" steriod use. Since he is under oath and prolly nervous, I think it would be great if they asked him some "get comfy" questions, like...

1 - Who do you consider to be the sexiest major leaguer?

2 - Who has the ugliest wife in the league?

3 - Have you ever peed in the shower just before the rest of the players got in?

4 - Have you ever attended a cockfight?

Rock On,

Aitch

I Guess He Didn't Make Good Eye Contact

When Joe Gibbs retired a few weeks ago as coach of the Washington Redskins, they interviewed the team's defensive coordinator, Gregg Williams, for the job. He didn't get it.

Yesterday, I read that they fired him as defensive coordinator too.

Man, he must be horrible at interviewing!

The Knicks Season May Not Be a Total Loss

On Tuesday Isiah Thomas said, "To me, it's win or die."

Fine, I get the point. You're competitive. You haven't, and won't, give up.

But then he added "And I literally mean death."

Huh?

Either he doesn't know what the word "literally" means, or he's trying to add some gravitas to the Knicks' season.

Rock On,

Aitch

Normal Workday Behavior Exhibited By Football Players Which Would Be Frowned Upon at my Office Job

Screaming "I'm Number One!" - while making supporting hand gesture - and then chest bumping co-workers after performing a task successfully

Gratuitous Flexing

Demonstrably smacking fellow employees in rear to motivate them

Refusing to come to work unless owner renegotiates salary

Pouring Gatorade on my boss

Shouting expletives to competition - some which make reference to their mother - in effort to intimidate them

Chop Blocking

Rock On,

Aitch

Man, Did I Go to the Wrong College!

The NY Times recently had an article on college sports stars who don't take many classes during the season. The writer mentioned Oregon Ducks QB, Dennis Dixon, for taking one class this semester: Billiards.

Aftwer checking out the University of Oregon's website, I see they also offer classes in juggling - yes, plural.

Out of curiosity, I checked out my girlfriend's alma mater to see what classes they offer -

Beer and Wine Appreciation

I guess they win.

Rock On,

Aitch