My "Surprise" Birthday Party....and Monk

I'm a huge fan of the TV show Monk. So much so, that much like Monk, I assume everyone I meet has either killed, or is plotting to kill, their wife. And I like to pretend I have OCD, but that's neither here nor there...

Several weeks ago, I was peeking over Josie's shoulder when she was checking her e-mail, and noticed one that suggested she may've been plotting to throw me a surprise birthday party. The heading of the e-mail stated...

HARRIS'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY - SHHHH!!!!

But, much like an episode of Monk, where we often see the murder (and the murderer) in the opening scene but not how Monk was gonna catch him/her, I knew there was a party but had no idea how it was gonna go down.

And then I found that out too.

When my friend Vic told me that he and my bro (Rich) were gonna take me out for my birthday on Nov 24th (day before my actual birthday), and to bring Josie too, I knew. That was it. Of course, I had to make it difficult, telling them that I was busy that day and wouldn't be able to go out. After Josie told me not to be a jerk, I agreed to be a good sport and just go along with it. Even if my surprise was spoiled, at least I'll let them think they got me.

Josie wanted to take me out, just us, for my birthday too, so last Thursday night we went to Sparks Steakhouse.

Getting off the subway in Grand Central, I happened to see my friend Deeanna ahead of me. I thought about saying "Hi" but after thinking about what a coincidence it was, seeing her there, I realized that I'd been had... the surprise party was that night. So not to spoil the surprise for everyone else, I ignored her, and when she ducked into a bank, I ran ahead.

After texting with Josie, and seeing the four-person deep bar situation, I decided to wait for her outside the restaurant. Of course, who walks up but Deeanna. She claims that she's there for a reconciliatory dinner with a friend with whom she'd been fighting with recently. I don't let on that I know what's up, so after a few words, she just goes in to meet her "friend."

That Josie! She thought she could get me, but nope, like most criminal masterminds, some slight miscalculation always gives them away.

When Josie arrived, I let her know that I saw Deeanna. Her surprise was so real, that for a second, I believed that I was wrong... that Deeanna was there to meet a friend and I am just having dinner with Josie. But still...no way....And then the host sat us... at a table for two.

Huh?

I walked to the table, half-(maybe "all") expecting the host to lead us to a larger table with all my friends there. And then we got to our table. It was for two. Hmmm...I spose even Monk's wrong once in a while.

I was about to tell Josie what my silly mind had concocted, when she got up to go the bathroom. I had also noticed that she had a bit of a wild-eyed look about her. Okay, I get it... she's gonna come back, with friends in tow, and we're all gonna sit at a bigger table.

Then she came back. Solo.

Huh?

"You wanna hear something funny?" I asked her.
"What?"
"I actually thought...." I started, but the host came over.
"Excuse me, but we have a better table for you."

Though I kinda liked our table, I guessed that's why Josie had gotten up - she thought I should have a better table for my birthday dinner. He led us to the back room, where I saw Rich, Vic, Deeanna, Jill, Jill (not a typo...there were two Jill's), Rob, Jenn, Doug, Kari and Ed waiting for me to sing Happy Birthday.

Got me.

One thing I noticed... Deeanna's boyfriend wasn't there. Knowing they've had some rocky times, I couldn't help but wonder if she'd killed him.

Hmmmmm....

Rock On,

Aitch

p.s. Thanks Josie for putting it together and my buds for coming